This review, or at least the first part of it, is best accompanied by the original Beauty and the Beast’s classic hit ‘Be Our Guest,’ though The Simpson’s similarly classic ‘See My Vest’ will do just fine.
Be, our, guest
To the best
Of Disney’s recent remake quest
Alice 2 didn’t make its money back, so
Belle was slated next
The casting
Was the thing
It gave the whole film such a verve
Watson’s casting was propitious
Luke Evans? Simply vicious
They can sing
They can dance
Hold on, this isn’t France!
And the British accents were surely meant in jest…
Grab your seat and when you
Take a glance only then you’ll
Love the rest,
Yes, I confess
One of the best
A gay LeFou
Cheesy songs
Disney lyrics all the way
All rehearsed and served with flair
CGI? Enchante
Stockholm syndrome?
Belle’s ensared
But there’s dancing, don’t be scared!
No one’s gloomy or complaining
When the music’s so ingraining
All the jokes
So much shtick
Though mostly for the kids
The nostalgia’s pretty strong that you can bet…
About now the song starts to get a little slow, something that surprisingly doesn’t happen in a movie with almost an hour on its precursor. Adding in just enough extra gags and back-story to convince you that you’re watching a different film from the 1991 classic, Beauty and the Beast has that rare cross-over appeal for all ages, including those old enough to remember seeing the original in its hey-day and, given how well it’s been adapted, won’t entirely mind that whole sequences have been lifted verbatim.
Watson may not be the best singer or actress amongst her peers but of the recognisable faces on which a studio will hang a flagship feature’s fortunes her casting as Belle cannot be faulted. Kevin Kline, only one of an expansive and talented cast, is similarly ideal as Belle’s inventor father, though regretfully some of the best performers are confined to voice roles, only getting to show their faces briefly in a few nice surprises for those who haven’t looked too closely at the credits.
A delectable treat of a film, not least of all for the household ornaments’ defence of the castle from an angry mob and the stunning recreation of the famous ballroom scene, Beauty and the Beast may be a latecomer to the Disney remake party but it is nonetheless a very welcome addition.
Beauty and the Beast is in cinemas now
FalkenScreen 