Power chords, key changes, fluoro, hair gel, synths – Eurovision 2015 is here, and the comp that made Jedward and ABBA famous has an honorary entrant in Australia, with a chance for Eurovision glory.
Idol veteran Guy Sebastian has been picked to represent us at Eurovision 2015, the show’s 60th anniversary – the first Australian ever to compete alongside dozens of European nations.
Last year, Jessica Mauboy was granted a special one-off performance to appease the legions of Aussie Eurovision tragics (myself included), though she was not allowed to compete.
Sebastian is an obvious choice for Eurovision 2015 – his pop and ballad credentials will serve him well, as they served Austria’s Conchita in 2014 (Rise Like a Phoenix) and Sweden’s Loreen before her (Euphoria), both of whom took home the top prize. In a competition renowned for being tacky, exuberant and outrageously ostentatious and allowed Romanian falsetto star Cezar to rise 12-feet off the ground in a cubic zirconia-studded leather gown to proclaim “It’s My Life,” it’s often the safer songs that do well over the riskier, more locally-themed fare.
There are plenty of acts we could have sent to fit in with the kitsch traditions of Eurovision – imagine if TISM had been given the chance to perform a new song, or Tripod, or The Wiggles, or Savage Garden? It appears Australia will be allowed a one-off chance to vote in this year’s Eurovision to take place next weekend. Depending on how it goes we could even become a permanent fixture at the competition so many Australians unashamedly worship. TISM fans wait in hope.
In the meantime, here are some choice finalists for Eurovision 2015 who have decided to really put themselves out there in the best of Eurovision tradition.
Sweden
Mans Zelmerlow has put together one of the best choreographed light shows in recent years with a song that’s just poppy and uplifting enough to come out on top. Sweden won three years ago with the similarly upbeat Euphoria so it may not be their turn again, but Zelmerlow is certainly in with a chance.
Slovenia
Air violins. Distortion. Wind machines. A guy with a piano who actually doesn’t play the piano, but spends most of the time winking at the camera. This is what Eurovision is all about.
France
It’s a ballad, and nothing too out of the ordinary, but it’s in French. Very few entries sing in one of their own native language as it doesn’t always translate to votes, which is a real shame, so France get points for that – so does Portugal, Spain, Romania and Italy (the last of which includes an unnecessary but oh so necessary re-staging of the famous Ghost pottery scene).
Belarus
Smoke machines. Long meaningful stares into your partner’s eyes. Countless plumes of flame barrelling upward. More violins. A giant human sized hour-glass with sand slowly crushing a woman in a long dress – the song’s title ‘Time’ explained to us in one of Eurovision’s all-encompassing visual metaphors. In the true spirit of Eurovision’s unbridled over-exemplification, Belarus have again delivered in 2015.
The Eurovision 2015 semi-finals and Final will be screening on SBS at 7:30PM AEST from 22nd-24th May. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to see something like Belarus’ 2011 entry “I Love Belarus” – overstated, patriotic and like the rest of Eurovision, unabashedly fun.
And for a gentle reminder of what Eurovision can be, here’s Ukraine’s 2007 entry Verda Serduchka, enjoy!
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